Nearly every child of this generation, and the previous 2, would cite Walt Disney as a primary source for their childhood. Disney Channel, Disney World, Disney Movies, Radio Disney, Disney Toys, Disney Pajamas, Disney Books, and all sorts of merchandise from the world of Mickey Mouse. Disney undoubtedly had an iron grip on the children of 1990-2000 and it shows because they are rolling in cash. Disney has a net worth of over $50 billion. Billion. $50,000,000,000. That’s 10 zeros. They could buy out actual countries. The point is that’s a ton of cash. And yet. Disney can’t seem to hire a creative team of any kind. Whoever the geniuses were who worked on storyboarding Toy Story (the first one), The Emperor’s New Groove, Mulan, Finding Nemo and other masterpieces must have been laid off because Disney refuses to make a new movie. I am sure that by now you’ve heard of Disney’s campaign to remake everything into a live action adaptation. But it’s really just a continuation of an epidemic. Here is a list of all Disney Movies since 2013 including movies Disney has announced it is releasing in the future, with remakes, spinoffs or sequels denoted by an asterisk*.

  • Cinderella (2015)*
  • Pete’s Dragon (2016)*
  • Big Hero 6 (2013)
  • Finding Dory (2016)*
  • The Jungle Book (2016)*
  • Zootopia (2016)
  • Maleficent (2014)*
  • Monsters University (2013)*
  • Inside Out (2015)
  • Alice Through The Looking Glass (2016)*
  • Beauty and The Beast (2017)*
  • Cars 3 (2017)*
  • Toy Story 4 (2018)*
  • Frozen 2 (2018)*
  • Moana (2017)

15 movies are listed and only 4 of them are technically original. (Inside Out and Big Hero 6 are somewhat creatively lacking…) But that means that 73% of movies Disney releases are old news. Not to mention Disney was responsible for that abomination of a new Star Wars movie. (In depth discussion about that here)  Tell me, how interesting can a story of any kind be if you already know exactly what’s going to happen before you ever hear it? If you tell a joke 2 times in a row, it’s just not funny. So why does Disney think they can show us the same movie twice? Don’t ask me.

Now those of you who are Disney Sympathisers out there will say that Disney is putting a “modern spin” on old classics, or that they’re simply reintroducing them to a new generation. Well to that I say: Shut up you nerd. Also, I’d accept the ‘modern spin’ explanation if Disney bothered to change a single thing. The 2015 Cinderella remake was actually, literally, exactly the same as it’s classic predecessor. Minus the singing. Same characters, the freaking mice are in it, same prince, same end, same middle and beginning. Seriously. Why does that movie even exist? It offers nothing new, and certainly no ‘modern spin’. And as for the reintroduction argument, well. One of my favorite features of modern movies is that they don’t expire. You can literally watch a movie over and over again for as long as you want. It won’t just disappear. You have absolutely no need at all to remake it exactly the same again. None. Well. Except for artistically blind cash grabs.

But what do I know, right? I’m not the owner of a $50 billion company. I don’t know what I’m talking about. But. If for some odd reason a big Disney Executive on my lowly blog, hear this, take it to heart. Please. Originality sells. New ideas, creativity, enterprising new, ground breaking stuff is what we crave. I would rather watch a bad movie about something I’ve never seen before than a good movie about the same stuff I’ve seen a thousand times. But who cares about my opinion. No one’s even listening. I suppose I’ll just continue mindlessly ranting to my sad self. Talk to you later…

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